Coincidence

My friend Lisa Barnes, the best underused actress in NYC, says when coincidence is happening in your life then something is going right. I usually moan, “Jesus, what’s going on?” In the last week I’ve had 8 or 9 people from different chapters in my life spring back. So bizarre. I’m not sure what I am pulling into me. Part of it’s normal. My reunion is coming up. The big one. I got over myself and signed up for it. Put a picture up on the webpage and a link to my website. I might be the only one who goes to this thing who is NOT married or has 2 to 6 children. What I learned from my girlfriend’s reunion is you go in with nothing to hide and be happy for everyone no matter how shitty they were to you or whether or not they are doing better than you. Tell them they look just like they did back in high school, even if their faces are melting off their skulls or they have the grooming habits of the Unibomber. I haven’t been back to High Point, North Carolina since ’95 so I’m sure much has changed. I think the big thing for me is I don’t want to have to explain or justify myself to anyone there. I’m bad at that. Always have been.
That’s part of what I don’t like about doing solo performance or acting. Having to promote yourself. I did Rochelle Denton’s 3 simple questions and found it easier for this new solo because it wasn’t about personal things. It wasn’t about inner territory. I wasn’t holding myself up for rejection. I think I worry mostly about my family, who are mostly conservatives, who won’t like the subject matter. My mother told me once my uncle would shoot me if he knew I wasn’t voting Republican. I do try to give equal weight to several perspectives in this piece.
I think the true Badass is the American consumer. We’ve gone too far into “strike first, don’t ask questions…ever” to consider our actions to be that of a badass. The badasses in my high school were the ones who made me quake everyday because I was frequently terrorized. Having worked with at-risk youth doing drama games and writing workshops, I’ve learned they are frequently the ones with the greatest amount of hidden fear that’s morphed into anger and aggression. I think the real American Badass is the one who amasses the most stocks, property, and fat. They have whatever they want, including a perfectly liposuctioned body. It’s a lot of work to avoid yourself. The ultimate badass thing is to not have to even think about thinking about that.
Oh, not for nothin’, have you seen the pictures of Osama bin Laden’s son? He’s in Europe and wants to be an activist for peace. I hope he’s not really the third Antichrist.

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