I think I did a good job at the auditions Friday. They say if you haven’t heard in 24 hours, let it go. They say you should let it go anyway. Some people talk about booking auditions like surfers give philosophies about catching tasty waves. I think some people do their own urban version of voodoo rituals.
I know there are factors beyond my control. I have to look like the brother of one character. I have to come off as the husband of another. I needed to go some other place with the work. My fellow actors vying for the role need to be, well, not as right for it. Or, I need to be the right flavor for the hankering of the director AND the producer.
Carrie Heitman, who played my wife in the last show I did, told me she’d let me know as soon as she heard something. And vice-versa. I hope she gets the role she tried out for and I get this one so I can continue to pretend to get her pregnant again. We joked about making a career out of that. Since we had 2 children with a third on the way, this would make 4. But her character donates an egg to my wife so then, technically, that would make 5. But none of it counts if you don’t believe using ICSI or other methods constitutes legitimacy.
After dealing with literally thousands of children as a teaching artist over the last 5 years, I think more and more about having my own. I called a friend I haven’t seen in years tonight. He’s been out of the acting game for several years now. He got a new job that’s moved him from Miami to Arkansas. He didn’t actually answer the phone. His wife did. The two kids were screaming and running around in the background. I guess you stop noticing it after awhile. It seemed like he was home because she would say to the kids, “go ask daddy.”
It seems like he avoids me. I have another friend who is kind of the same way. I guess I represent the possibility of what could have been if they had stayed on this path. But everyone winds up going places they didn’t expect at some point or other.