Current Conditions

Tires sizzle on the wet avenue 6 floors below. I was down but now I’m up. Took day medicine instead of night medicine. An A (or maybe a D) train grumbles and chugs smoothly along. No garbage or recycling pick up in the last couple of hours. When I walked up to the building at 10, a man was laying on the sidewalk. A fire truck and an ambulance was emptied of crew to see how he was doing. Two young women giggled and ran back into the bar next door, embarrassed by their concern mutated from their gawking.

I’ve sneezed more than 40 times since I’ve been home. Took the day medicine and lay on the floor to release my back from sitting all day. The day flew by with nothing of note happening. Time was like 2 socks stuffed in my ears. Had the first of 3 rehearsals for a staged reading. Wasn’t all there. Went from a musty room to a dusty theater on 43rd. Tried not to sneeze or honk my nose. Tried not to be disgusting with the oozing from my right nostril.

“What do think about this play or this character or what’s happening or any thoughts at all?”

I feel like the toy deep sea diver in the round helmet at the bottom of the fish tank. “Mmmm. Stuff. Something. More things. Add. Ha. Ha. Clever. Clever.” Wish I could remove my eyes and let them soak in the ocular equivalent of Palmolive.

Some day a young person will ask what the world was like back when and I will show him or her all the episodes of South Park and wish them luck after trying really hard to explain all the references.

My empty stomach grumbles and I know there is cereal on top of the fridge and almond milk inside it but what will I do in a few hours when I wake up? My mouse finger demands attention. “Look what you’ve done to me,” it hisses. “I’m hideous.”

A truck beeps and churns back on the other side of the street. Didn’t see that coming. All bottles. Must’ve slept through the guy with the 2 grocery carts pulling cans from the separated bags. Thunk thunk chunk chunk chunk tink tink chunk tink is his tune.

I can’t grow a full beard. I’ll never grow one. I wonder if that means I won’t be fully present in this life. I always thought I was a crossroads person who was living several lives at once but maybe I’m really going through this one incomplete.

Wishing I could hear some snaps after I complete a sentence. Screw it. I’ll snap for myself. There. That’s better.

Just remembered there’s Stella Artois here. 2 sips. Thinking I might as well head into work if I’m going to be up like this. Noon is gonna suck. What does Artois mean? No, don’t tell me. I’d rather give it my own meaning.

A flurry of cars and another subway train. This one was local. Here comes an express. Another sneeze? Maybe. Maybe. No. Wait. Maybe. No. Shit. Come on. No. This is disappointing.

The leaves haven’t changed yet. And there’s the sneeze. I will look like ass tomorrow. People don’t say things are like ass much anymore. But a lot of things are.

Going to see my parents for the first time in 3 years in a few days. Then I’m going to meet Aimee’s parents for the first time. I’m an adult for crying out loud this shouldn’t bother me.

When I get back, I have so much stuff to do. Starting a class, a reading, a clown haunted house, 2 grant applications, 3 plays to be published online. This is good because I feel I haven’t chiseled anything into the universe in a bit. Then I need to hunker down and write some big things. Maybe they will be terrible, terrible things but I will write them anyway.

Okay. I’ll try this sleep thing again.

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